Previous episode: http://emilyrachellewrites.blogspot.com/2013/08/my-imaginary-boyfriend-episode-six.html
"Do we have to do this now? I thought we were going to eat first."
I giggle and grab Rykel's hand, dragging him across the parking lot. "Come on, it will only take a few minutes. She probably has class soon or something anyway. I just want to introduce you."
The wind whips my hair around my face, wrapping it around my glasses and catching it on my lip gloss. I repeatedly tug the strands away with my free hand and straighten my brown and blue plaid button-up shirt over the top of my jeans. I love fall; all my cutest clothes work best with the crisp weather and defined colors around me. I glance back at the boy behind me.
Rykel, of course, will always be Rykel. I'm beginning to wonder if he even owns more than five t-shirts, all of them ripped in some way. He definitely can't own more than three or four pairs of practically destroyed jeans. I'm pretty sure his idea of style begins and ends with the number of holes he makes in his skin.
Opposites attract, right?
"What's your roommate's name again?"
"Stacia. She's great. Very fun, lots of energy. Majoring in art." I reach the front door of my dorm building and swipe my card to let us in. I wave at the RA on duty as we walk inside. "Come on, we're on the fourth floor. I always take the stairs."
Rykel, still dragging his feet behind me, follows me to the stairs behind a door on our right. "What's wrong with the elevator?"
I shrug. "Nothing. Just more exercise this way."
I end up holding the door to my floor open while he climbs the final flight of stairs, then bouncing ahead of him down the hall. Only two girls are outside their rooms right now, and I wave at them as I pass. I don't have time to stop and chat or introduce them to Rykel, not right now. I am a girl on a mission.
Today, Stacia is going to meet my punk boyfriend, and it's going to be awesome.
Something about my roommate meeting my boyfriend feels official. It's like we're going to the next level or something, meeting the friends. I mean, it's nothing compared to meeting the family - I laugh and cringe simultaneously at that thought - but still, there's a very important air to this moment.
I stick my head inside my room door. "Hey Stac, there's someone here you need to meet. You ready?"
A crazy mess of red frames the flustered face that pops out around the corner of the bathroom, contrasting with her flaming red lipstick. Her blue eyes are comically wide. "Um, now?"
I nod. "Yeah, now. Come on, get your butt out here."
"Okay, okay, gimme a sec."
I let the door fall closed behind me and turn to grin at Rykel, with his arms crossed over his red t-shirt and one eyebrow raised.
"Ready?"
He grins. "I'm always ready, babe."
I roll my eyes, but I'm still grinning wide. Ever the flirt.
The latch of the door clicks open behind me. I grab Rykel's hand, pull him up to stand next to me, and twirl around to face the door in one swift (if not very smooth) motion. Stacia, wearing a white tank top and blazing red pants with her red curls somewhat controlled in her signature bun-pile-thing, swings the door open. I grab the door frame to keep myself from tripping over my own boots.
She stares at us, a puzzled expression. Beyond the red lipstick, her makeup involves one shadowed and one bare eye. "So..."
"Stacia, meet Rykel. Boyfriend, meet roommate." I turn my grin to Stacia.
Her eyes grow wide and she grins, lighting up her whole face. "Oh! Rykel! Okay! I know you!" She jumps out into the hall and squeezes Rykel in a hug.
His grin disappears, and he stands stiffly in surprise until my roommate releases him. He runs his hand through the hair on the right side of his head, glancing at me. I bite my lip to keep from laughing. He shrugs and grins again.
"So... you're Stacia. I don't know you."
She laughs. "Oh, well, I mean obviously we've never met, but Emily is always talking about you, so, see, I know tons about you. Man, what I wouldn't give to see that cycle. You look just like I thought, too!" She walks around him in circles, examining him head to toe, like a fashion designer on those movies about royalty. "The hair, and the tattoos, and just - wow!" She laughs. "Wow! She didn't really do the piercings justice, though. How many do you have, man?!"
Rykel lifts his chin in that cocky pose of his. I roll my eyes and giggle. "Ooo-kay, well, I know you've got class soon, right?"
She cranes her head to peer at the clock on the wall at the end of the hall. "Oh crap! Yes, yes, yes, I need to go! Bye Emily, bye Emily's boyfriend, nice to meet you and all!" She proceeds to race back into our room and slam the door.
I turn to Rykel and adjust the purse strap on my shoulder, laughing. "Now we can go eat."
He rubs his hands together. "Yes! Thank you. Chinese sound good?"
"Sure, whatever. Chinese always sounds good."
He wraps his arm around my shoulders and leads me to the elevator. I don't protest. We head out into the parking lot and slide into our places on the cycle's leather seats before pushing off onto the highway.
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Product Review: Photo Canvas
I've heard of those companies that let you order just about anything with your photo on it - mugs, coasters, bookmarks, CDs, blankets, you name it. My family has ordered professional photo prints and those little photo books before. Photos on canvas are one of those things I'd seen before but never tried myself.
Easy Canvas Prints offered me a free canvas if I would do a review and giveaway. My lovely readers, you know by now that freebies are one thing I just can't resist. Plus - my senior photos were just taken! So I have plenty of awesome, high-quality photos to choose from!
There were a lot of photos I wanted to use, but most of them were vertical, and the free canvas offer seemed to work only with horizontal photos. (If there's a way to flip the canvas over when you order, I never figured out what that was.) Still, I love the photo I ended up using. It's actually not technically a senior photo, but one of just me that the same photographer snapped during family photos with my mom's side of the family.
When the canvas came, these were my initial thoughts:
-well packaged, if a little beat up (mailing service's fault, though, not Easy Canvas Prints's)
-smells odd, like melted crayons, when you take it out of the plastic covering (smell fades after a couple hours - I think maybe it's the ink or something?)
-it's a little smaller than I thought... but then I never actually considered what size 8"x10" actually is, so that's just me being dumb
Features of my canvas:
-has the date of order, the dimensions, and the Easy Canvas Prints logo on the back
-strong metal clamp in place for hanging
-my specific choices during ordering:
-8"x10" canvas size (they have I think one smaller size and then quite a few larger ones, and you can choose to buy multiple canvases in different sizes to hang together or something like that)
-.75" wrap
-mirror image wrap (because the one that stretches the image over the wrap cut off my head, and solid color wrap didn't look right)
-full color, no effects (I'm just not a fan of black and white or sepia or that sort of thing)
The colors are bright and vibrant; the image looks exactly the way the original digital image looks on the computer. It's not blurry or faded. Also, I got a few tiny drops of water on the canvas on accident, but it didn't smudge, smear, or bleed through the ink, which is nice. Not that I recommend testing that yourself!
(This is where the photo of the actual canvas would go... if I hadn't lost my phone the day before writing this post. For shame, Emily!)
I'm not sure where I want to hang it yet, but it's really very nice. Easy to order, beautiful and high quality - really the only downside was having to pick just one photo!
Now it's your turn! One lucky winner will receive the same style and size of photo canvas I did. Good luck!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Easy Canvas Prints provided me with one free 8"x10" horizontal canvas in exchange for this review. All opinions expressed are entirely my own.
Easy Canvas Prints offered me a free canvas if I would do a review and giveaway. My lovely readers, you know by now that freebies are one thing I just can't resist. Plus - my senior photos were just taken! So I have plenty of awesome, high-quality photos to choose from!
There were a lot of photos I wanted to use, but most of them were vertical, and the free canvas offer seemed to work only with horizontal photos. (If there's a way to flip the canvas over when you order, I never figured out what that was.) Still, I love the photo I ended up using. It's actually not technically a senior photo, but one of just me that the same photographer snapped during family photos with my mom's side of the family.
When the canvas came, these were my initial thoughts:
-well packaged, if a little beat up (mailing service's fault, though, not Easy Canvas Prints's)
-smells odd, like melted crayons, when you take it out of the plastic covering (smell fades after a couple hours - I think maybe it's the ink or something?)
-it's a little smaller than I thought... but then I never actually considered what size 8"x10" actually is, so that's just me being dumb
Features of my canvas:
-has the date of order, the dimensions, and the Easy Canvas Prints logo on the back
-strong metal clamp in place for hanging
-my specific choices during ordering:
-8"x10" canvas size (they have I think one smaller size and then quite a few larger ones, and you can choose to buy multiple canvases in different sizes to hang together or something like that)
-.75" wrap
-mirror image wrap (because the one that stretches the image over the wrap cut off my head, and solid color wrap didn't look right)
-full color, no effects (I'm just not a fan of black and white or sepia or that sort of thing)
The colors are bright and vibrant; the image looks exactly the way the original digital image looks on the computer. It's not blurry or faded. Also, I got a few tiny drops of water on the canvas on accident, but it didn't smudge, smear, or bleed through the ink, which is nice. Not that I recommend testing that yourself!
(This is where the photo of the actual canvas would go... if I hadn't lost my phone the day before writing this post. For shame, Emily!)
I'm not sure where I want to hang it yet, but it's really very nice. Easy to order, beautiful and high quality - really the only downside was having to pick just one photo!
Now it's your turn! One lucky winner will receive the same style and size of photo canvas I did. Good luck!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Oh, one last thing - Easy Canvas Prints wanted me to mention that they also have two other personalized product sites. If they're anything like the canvas service, they must be pretty nice!
Easy Canvas Prints provided me with one free 8"x10" horizontal canvas in exchange for this review. All opinions expressed are entirely my own.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Service Review: Grammarly {Plus an early look at the next Heart Torn in Two chapter!}
I use Grammarly to check plagiarism because a future author failing high school English class doesn't look good to publishers - or book buyers!
Introduction
When I first received an email from a Grammarly representative offering to sponsor a review, I decided to try their free test service on the website first. I copied and pasted the first scene from the rough draft of Beila and the Griffin. It took only a few seconds for them to give me my score of 54 out of 100 - which matches my vague idea of where my first drafts generally stand. Apparently, I had 10 spelling issues, 1 commonly confused word, 2 incorrect uses of prepositions, 1 comparison problem, 1 confused modifier, 8 wrong uses of punctuation within a sentence, and 8 problems with my writing style. The areas I passed? Original vs. plagiarized text, ignored words, closing punctuation, formal punctuation, and vocabulary use (score! I'm proud of that one :] )
For a story I haven't looked at since Camp NaNo, I'd guess that to be spot-on.
So I emailed the representative back and told him I'd be glad to review Grammarly and go through their free trial. At this point, I was pretty excited. Yeah, yeah, an online proofreading service doesn't seem exciting... until you consider the fact that right now I'm simultaneously (a) writing a stack of essays for college scholarship contests, (b) still keeping up with this blog!, (c) writing my fanfiction Heart Torn in Two, and (d) writing Heart of Ember. Not to mention all the non-writing stuff demanding my attention.
To say my plate is full would be an understatement. Anything to speed this process along will be a huge help right now.
How Grammarly Works
The user uploads or copies and pastes a portion of text. Grammarly scans the text, looking for plagiarism, passive voice, spelling, commonly confused words, prepositions, comparisons, modifiers, punctuations, writing style, ignored words, and vocabulary. Then, the scanned text will be displayed with problem areas highlighted in pink and a list of the issues found on the right sidebar. Your score will be displayed at the top of that sidebar, a number out of one hundred. To fix any issues, click on a highlighted portion and the issue will be explained in a little gray box - you can choose the short or long version of the explanation. Then, you can choose to either fix the problem yourself, click the suggested fix to have Grammarly automatically fix the issue (in certain cases), or ignore the problem. Once you've looked through the whole text, you can click "review changes" and see what your new score is. If there are no issues left, a score of 100 out of 100 will shoe and weak word choices or words the text has in abundance will be underlined and possible synonyms offered.
For this review, I decided to use two very different texts: an essay for one of those college scholarship contests and the next installment of Heart Torn in Two. (You get to see it here before it's live on Fanfiction! Woot woot!) The reason I chose these two texts is because Grammarly has different settings: General, Business, Academic, Technical, Creative, and Casual. The essay I'll put through on Academic, and the fanfiction chapter on Creative.
Service Review: Academic Setting
Grammarly Score:
5 issues found. Score: 76 of 100. Issues: 3 passive voice use and 2 writing style.
Edited Text:
In the summers when my family visited the grandparents, there was always one thing I could count on: my grandpa's shed would be emptied out, just for me.
I spent several hours of my childhood in that miniature-barn-shaped shed. By the time my family packed up and returned home, I had covered the walls with crayon drawings and spelling lists. Colored plastic chairs filled with neighborhood kids or every doll and stuffed animal I could find lined the floor. Imagination even transformed the back wall of the shed into a dusty green chalkboard.
Now a high school senior, my dreams have not changed that much. While my concept of the ideal classroom may not include a one-room barn-shaped building, I still long to nurture children and help them grow into the best adults they can be. That is why I need a degree in elementary education.
Experiences with children have been a large part of my life. I've volunteered in church nurseries, Vacation Bible School programs, and free babysitting opportunities. This past summer I went with my youth group to Dominica, where we ran a one-week summer camp for local children and teenagers. These activities have only strengthened my love of and desire to work with children.
Education and my faith have always been important to me; now I want to help the next generation learn such values. My future place is a classroom. I will change the world - one child at a time.
Service Review: Creative Setting {Here's that early look for Heart Torn in Two readers!}
Original Text:
Caspian
I exit the tunnels through the upper doorway onto the rock wall and sit with my legs hanging down over the edge. Gazing at the sky without truly seeing much, I struggle to make sense of the disaster that just played out in Aslan's tomb. The one thought I keep coming back to, is that of those who raised me. Am I more like Miraz than I thought? I cannot believe I came so close to betraying those I loved, just as he did when he murdered my father.
Professor Cornelius sits down beside me. I speak without looking at him. "Why did you never tell me about my father?"
He sighs. "My mother was a Black Dwarf from the Northern Mountains."
I look down at him. A dwarf? His physical appearances matches - the long, gray beard, the short stature. But how did a Narnian half-dwarf become tutor to the Telmarine crown prince - to me?
He stares forward through his tiny gold spectacles and resumes speaking. "I risked my life all these years so that one day, you might be a better king than those before you."
I look away into the sky, taking in his words. The events with the Witch consume my mind, and I look down in shame. "Then I have failed you." I have become so much like Miraz.
He turns his blue eyes up towards me. "Everything I told you... everything I didn't... it was only because I believe in you."
I turn to look towards him. He has heard of the events with the Witch, I know. Yet still he thinks me worthy of a throne?
His tone is gentle but serious. He means what he says. "You have the chance to become the most noble contradiction in history." He looks away. "The Telmarine who saved Narnia."
I turn my eyes back to the heavens and we sit in silence, watching the sunset. I wish I could believe him. I long to believe him. I want to save Narnia and the Queens and Kings. I want to protect Susan and her people, to become one of them, even. But I know I am not worthy... and I fear I am incapable.
* * *
Susan
I stand alone in the tunnel, leaning against the wall, far from the light of torches or noise of battle preparations or the conversations of others. After such a long few hours, I am alone.
Finally alone. Completely alone.
So I let the tears fall. I do not sob, or wail, or cry out. I am not one for hysterics, and I am also well aware of how easily a sound can echo through these tunnels to others' ears. My cries are silent and still, but I let them come.
Aslan has left us. Lucy and Edmund are still just children, even if they were adults once. Peter is too full of himself to be reliable. And Caspian...
Caspian betrayed me. Only a few hours ago, he betrayed me. He chose the Witch.
The tears fall harder, hot and thick against my face, spreading dark, wet shadows across the skirt of my dress. I cover my mouth with my hand and slide along the wall onto the floor. Pulling my knees towards me, I wrap my arms around them and sob into my skirt. The pain is unbearable, tearing the very fabric of my soul apart. I press my mouth into my knee to smother a scream.
How could he? How could he? How could he?
I love him. I loved him. I don't know which. My stomach churns and my breath comes in shudders as the tears continue to flow. How could he hurt me like this?
How could I let him?
I clutch my legs and rock back and forth, back and forth. I look up at the ceiling and send a silent cry to Aslan. How could you abandon us? Why call us back, just to let Narnia fall, to let everyone die, to let my family fall apart? Why did you let this happen?
Why did I fall in love?
Time passes. I don't know how much. The sobs and the pain continue to come in waves, crashing over my body before ebbing away for a moment's relief. Eventually they come more slowly, until finally I lay down and let sleep take over my body.
Grammarly Score:
10 issues found. Score: 90 of 100. Issues: 2 use of articles, 2 subject and verb agreement, 3 punctuation within a sentence, 2 spelling, 1 vocabulary use.
Edited Text:
Caspian
I exit the tunnels through the upper doorway onto the rock wall and sit with my legs hanging down over the edge. Gazing at the sky without truly seeing much, I struggle to make sense of the disaster that just played out in Aslan's tomb. The one thought I keep coming back to, is that of those who raised me. Am I more like Miraz than I thought? I cannot believe I came so close to betraying those I loved, just as he did when he murdered my father.
Professor Cornelius sits down beside me. I speak without looking at him. "Why did you never tell me about my father?"
He sighs. "My mother was a Black Dwarf from the Northern Mountains."
I look down at him. A dwarf? His physical appearance matches - the long, gray beard, the short stature. But how did a Narnian half-dwarf become tutor to the Telmarine crown prince - to me?
He stares forward through his tiny gold spectacles and resumes speaking. "I risked my life all these years so that one day, you might be a better king than those before you."
I look away into the sky, taking in his words. The events with the Witch consume my mind, and I look down in shame. "Then I have failed you." I have become so much like Miraz.
He turns his blue eyes up towards me. "Everything I told you... everything I didn't... it was only because I believe in you."
I turn to look towards him. He has heard of our history with the Witch, I know. Yet still he thinks me worthy of a throne?
His tone is gentle but serious. He means what he says. "You have the chance to become the most noble contradiction in history." He looks away. "The Telmarine who saved Narnia."
I turn my eyes back to the heavens and we sit in silence, watching the sunset. I wish I could believe him. I long to believe him. I want to save Narnia and the Queens and Kings. I want to protect Susan and her people, to become one of them, even. But I know I am not worthy... and I fear I am incapable.
* * *
Susan
I stand alone in the tunnel, leaning against the wall, far from the light of torches or noise of battle preparations or the conversations of others. After such a long few hours, I am alone.
Finally alone. Completely alone.
So I let the tears fall. I do not sob, or wail, or cry out. I am not one for hysterics, and I am also well aware of how easily a sound can echo through these tunnels to others' ears. My cries are silent and still, but I let them come.
Aslan has left us. Lucy and Edmund are still just children, even if they were adults once. Peter is too full of himself to be reliable. And Caspian...
Caspian betrayed me. Only a few hours ago, he betrayed me. He chose the Witch.
The tears fall harder, hot and thick against my face, spreading dark, wet shadows across the skirt of my dress. I cover my mouth with my hand and slide along the wall onto the floor. Pulling my knees towards me, I wrap my arms around them and sob into my skirt. The pain is unbearable, tearing the very fabric of my soul apart. I press my mouth into my knee to smother a scream.
How could he? How could he? How could he?
I love him. I loved him. I don't know which. My stomach churns and my breath comes in shudders as the tears continue to flow. How could he hurt me like this?
How could I let him?
I clutch my legs and rock back and forth, back and forth. I look up at the ceiling and send a silent cry to Aslan. How could you abandon us? Why call us back, just to let Narnia fall, to let everyone die, to let my family fall apart? Why did you let this happen?
Why did I fall in love?
Time passes. I don't know how much. The sobs and the pain continue to come in waves, crashing over my body before ebbing away for a moment's relief. Eventually, they come more slowly, until finally I lay down and let sleep take over my body.
Plagiarism Test
One last run-through! This time, I decided to use Google to find some website to use. Since I wrote a book report on The Portrait of a Lady for my junior year, I googled "summary of the portrait of a lady" and chose three results: SparkNotes (which I use for homework help sometimes), Wikipedia (which everyone's heard of), and one other I was not familiar with - Shmoop. I tested each one, first of all by just copying and pasting the text, then by changing some things around before running through the check. (It turns out that, while the regular check does not look for plagiarism, the plagiarism check looks for everything else along with plagiarism.)
SparkNotes One: Yes! A citation issue and the link for the original text are shown.
SparkNotes Two: Fail. No plagiarism or citation issue shown.
Wikipedia One: Yes! A citation issue and the link for the original text are shown.
Wikipedia Two: Fail. No plagiarism or citation issue shown.
Shmoop One: Hm... a citation issue and a link are shown, but the link is not for Shmoop - it's for a different website. Clicking the link starts an Open Office document download for a The Portrait of a Lady summary document.
Shmoop Two: Fail. No plagiarism or citation issue shown.
Okay, I'm seeing a trend here. What about something that's not a top Google result or popular student website? I decided to test a portion from Fanfiction.net (the first piece I came across on browse, which happened to be an almost-passable Wholock crossoer), the most recent post on Project Inspired, and a blog post of my own. This time I didn't bother with the switching-around of words.
Fanfiction: Yes! A citation issue and the link for the original text are shown.
PI: Hm... a citation issue and the proper link are shown, but according to Grammarly, only 97% is plagiarized. I literally just copied and pasted the whole thing, so that should say 100%.
My Blog: Yes! Sort of. Haha I used a book review and the link that came up was for my review on Amazon... let's try something else, shall we?
My Blog Take Two: Fail. No plagiarism or citation issue shown. That makes me sad. Apparently personal blogs like mine don't go through the plagiarism check... just to be sure, let's give one more shot...
Bailey's Blog: Fail again. No plagiarism or citation issue shown.
Conclusion
For an automated program, Grammarly makes a great proofreader and copy editor. There are some 'issues' pointed out that aren't actually problems, but it seems like Grammarly errs on the side of caution - better to catch a few non-problems than to miss a few real issues.
As for plagiarism, plain copying and pasting will ring the bell - but changing a few words around seems to fool the machine. Not to mention, whatever system Grammarly uses for plagiarism check, my and Bailey's blogs - and therefore, most likely, a lot of other less-known blogs and websites - aren't in it.
Introduction
When I first received an email from a Grammarly representative offering to sponsor a review, I decided to try their free test service on the website first. I copied and pasted the first scene from the rough draft of Beila and the Griffin. It took only a few seconds for them to give me my score of 54 out of 100 - which matches my vague idea of where my first drafts generally stand. Apparently, I had 10 spelling issues, 1 commonly confused word, 2 incorrect uses of prepositions, 1 comparison problem, 1 confused modifier, 8 wrong uses of punctuation within a sentence, and 8 problems with my writing style. The areas I passed? Original vs. plagiarized text, ignored words, closing punctuation, formal punctuation, and vocabulary use (score! I'm proud of that one :] )
For a story I haven't looked at since Camp NaNo, I'd guess that to be spot-on.
So I emailed the representative back and told him I'd be glad to review Grammarly and go through their free trial. At this point, I was pretty excited. Yeah, yeah, an online proofreading service doesn't seem exciting... until you consider the fact that right now I'm simultaneously (a) writing a stack of essays for college scholarship contests, (b) still keeping up with this blog!, (c) writing my fanfiction Heart Torn in Two, and (d) writing Heart of Ember. Not to mention all the non-writing stuff demanding my attention.
To say my plate is full would be an understatement. Anything to speed this process along will be a huge help right now.
How Grammarly Works
The user uploads or copies and pastes a portion of text. Grammarly scans the text, looking for plagiarism, passive voice, spelling, commonly confused words, prepositions, comparisons, modifiers, punctuations, writing style, ignored words, and vocabulary. Then, the scanned text will be displayed with problem areas highlighted in pink and a list of the issues found on the right sidebar. Your score will be displayed at the top of that sidebar, a number out of one hundred. To fix any issues, click on a highlighted portion and the issue will be explained in a little gray box - you can choose the short or long version of the explanation. Then, you can choose to either fix the problem yourself, click the suggested fix to have Grammarly automatically fix the issue (in certain cases), or ignore the problem. Once you've looked through the whole text, you can click "review changes" and see what your new score is. If there are no issues left, a score of 100 out of 100 will shoe and weak word choices or words the text has in abundance will be underlined and possible synonyms offered.
For this review, I decided to use two very different texts: an essay for one of those college scholarship contests and the next installment of Heart Torn in Two. (You get to see it here before it's live on Fanfiction! Woot woot!) The reason I chose these two texts is because Grammarly has different settings: General, Business, Academic, Technical, Creative, and Casual. The essay I'll put through on Academic, and the fanfiction chapter on Creative.
Service Review: Academic Setting
Original Text:
In the summers when my family visited the grandparents, there was always one thing I could count on: my grandpa's shed would be emptied out, just for me.
I spent several hours of my childhood in that miniature-barn-shaped shed. By the time my family packed up and returned home, the walls were covered with crayon drawings and spelling lists. The floor was lined with colored plastic chairs filled with neighborhood kids or every doll and stuffed animal I could find. The back wall of the shed was even imagined into a dusty green chalkboard.
Now a high school senior, my dreams haven't changed that much. While my concept of the ideal classroom may not include a one-room barn-shaped building, I still long to nurture children and help them grow into the best adults they can be. That's why I need a degree in elementary education.
Experiences with children have been a large part of my life. I've volunteered in church nurseries, Vacation Bible School programs, and free babysitting opportunities. This past summer I went with my youth group to Dominica, where we ran a one-week summer camp for local children and teenagers. These activities have only strengthened my love of and desire to work with children.
Education and my faith have always been important to me; now I want to help the next generation learn such values. My future place is a classroom. I will change the world - one child at a time.
Grammarly Score:
5 issues found. Score: 76 of 100. Issues: 3 passive voice use and 2 writing style.
Edited Text:
In the summers when my family visited the grandparents, there was always one thing I could count on: my grandpa's shed would be emptied out, just for me.
I spent several hours of my childhood in that miniature-barn-shaped shed. By the time my family packed up and returned home, I had covered the walls with crayon drawings and spelling lists. Colored plastic chairs filled with neighborhood kids or every doll and stuffed animal I could find lined the floor. Imagination even transformed the back wall of the shed into a dusty green chalkboard.
Now a high school senior, my dreams have not changed that much. While my concept of the ideal classroom may not include a one-room barn-shaped building, I still long to nurture children and help them grow into the best adults they can be. That is why I need a degree in elementary education.
Experiences with children have been a large part of my life. I've volunteered in church nurseries, Vacation Bible School programs, and free babysitting opportunities. This past summer I went with my youth group to Dominica, where we ran a one-week summer camp for local children and teenagers. These activities have only strengthened my love of and desire to work with children.
Education and my faith have always been important to me; now I want to help the next generation learn such values. My future place is a classroom. I will change the world - one child at a time.
Service Review: Creative Setting {Here's that early look for Heart Torn in Two readers!}
Original Text:
Caspian
I exit the tunnels through the upper doorway onto the rock wall and sit with my legs hanging down over the edge. Gazing at the sky without truly seeing much, I struggle to make sense of the disaster that just played out in Aslan's tomb. The one thought I keep coming back to, is that of those who raised me. Am I more like Miraz than I thought? I cannot believe I came so close to betraying those I loved, just as he did when he murdered my father.
Professor Cornelius sits down beside me. I speak without looking at him. "Why did you never tell me about my father?"
He sighs. "My mother was a Black Dwarf from the Northern Mountains."
I look down at him. A dwarf? His physical appearances matches - the long, gray beard, the short stature. But how did a Narnian half-dwarf become tutor to the Telmarine crown prince - to me?
He stares forward through his tiny gold spectacles and resumes speaking. "I risked my life all these years so that one day, you might be a better king than those before you."
I look away into the sky, taking in his words. The events with the Witch consume my mind, and I look down in shame. "Then I have failed you." I have become so much like Miraz.
He turns his blue eyes up towards me. "Everything I told you... everything I didn't... it was only because I believe in you."
I turn to look towards him. He has heard of the events with the Witch, I know. Yet still he thinks me worthy of a throne?
His tone is gentle but serious. He means what he says. "You have the chance to become the most noble contradiction in history." He looks away. "The Telmarine who saved Narnia."
I turn my eyes back to the heavens and we sit in silence, watching the sunset. I wish I could believe him. I long to believe him. I want to save Narnia and the Queens and Kings. I want to protect Susan and her people, to become one of them, even. But I know I am not worthy... and I fear I am incapable.
* * *
Susan
I stand alone in the tunnel, leaning against the wall, far from the light of torches or noise of battle preparations or the conversations of others. After such a long few hours, I am alone.
Finally alone. Completely alone.
So I let the tears fall. I do not sob, or wail, or cry out. I am not one for hysterics, and I am also well aware of how easily a sound can echo through these tunnels to others' ears. My cries are silent and still, but I let them come.
Aslan has left us. Lucy and Edmund are still just children, even if they were adults once. Peter is too full of himself to be reliable. And Caspian...
Caspian betrayed me. Only a few hours ago, he betrayed me. He chose the Witch.
The tears fall harder, hot and thick against my face, spreading dark, wet shadows across the skirt of my dress. I cover my mouth with my hand and slide along the wall onto the floor. Pulling my knees towards me, I wrap my arms around them and sob into my skirt. The pain is unbearable, tearing the very fabric of my soul apart. I press my mouth into my knee to smother a scream.
How could he? How could he? How could he?
I love him. I loved him. I don't know which. My stomach churns and my breath comes in shudders as the tears continue to flow. How could he hurt me like this?
How could I let him?
I clutch my legs and rock back and forth, back and forth. I look up at the ceiling and send a silent cry to Aslan. How could you abandon us? Why call us back, just to let Narnia fall, to let everyone die, to let my family fall apart? Why did you let this happen?
Why did I fall in love?
Time passes. I don't know how much. The sobs and the pain continue to come in waves, crashing over my body before ebbing away for a moment's relief. Eventually they come more slowly, until finally I lay down and let sleep take over my body.
Grammarly Score:
10 issues found. Score: 90 of 100. Issues: 2 use of articles, 2 subject and verb agreement, 3 punctuation within a sentence, 2 spelling, 1 vocabulary use.
Edited Text:
Caspian
I exit the tunnels through the upper doorway onto the rock wall and sit with my legs hanging down over the edge. Gazing at the sky without truly seeing much, I struggle to make sense of the disaster that just played out in Aslan's tomb. The one thought I keep coming back to, is that of those who raised me. Am I more like Miraz than I thought? I cannot believe I came so close to betraying those I loved, just as he did when he murdered my father.
Professor Cornelius sits down beside me. I speak without looking at him. "Why did you never tell me about my father?"
He sighs. "My mother was a Black Dwarf from the Northern Mountains."
I look down at him. A dwarf? His physical appearance matches - the long, gray beard, the short stature. But how did a Narnian half-dwarf become tutor to the Telmarine crown prince - to me?
He stares forward through his tiny gold spectacles and resumes speaking. "I risked my life all these years so that one day, you might be a better king than those before you."
I look away into the sky, taking in his words. The events with the Witch consume my mind, and I look down in shame. "Then I have failed you." I have become so much like Miraz.
He turns his blue eyes up towards me. "Everything I told you... everything I didn't... it was only because I believe in you."
I turn to look towards him. He has heard of our history with the Witch, I know. Yet still he thinks me worthy of a throne?
His tone is gentle but serious. He means what he says. "You have the chance to become the most noble contradiction in history." He looks away. "The Telmarine who saved Narnia."
I turn my eyes back to the heavens and we sit in silence, watching the sunset. I wish I could believe him. I long to believe him. I want to save Narnia and the Queens and Kings. I want to protect Susan and her people, to become one of them, even. But I know I am not worthy... and I fear I am incapable.
* * *
Susan
I stand alone in the tunnel, leaning against the wall, far from the light of torches or noise of battle preparations or the conversations of others. After such a long few hours, I am alone.
Finally alone. Completely alone.
So I let the tears fall. I do not sob, or wail, or cry out. I am not one for hysterics, and I am also well aware of how easily a sound can echo through these tunnels to others' ears. My cries are silent and still, but I let them come.
Aslan has left us. Lucy and Edmund are still just children, even if they were adults once. Peter is too full of himself to be reliable. And Caspian...
Caspian betrayed me. Only a few hours ago, he betrayed me. He chose the Witch.
The tears fall harder, hot and thick against my face, spreading dark, wet shadows across the skirt of my dress. I cover my mouth with my hand and slide along the wall onto the floor. Pulling my knees towards me, I wrap my arms around them and sob into my skirt. The pain is unbearable, tearing the very fabric of my soul apart. I press my mouth into my knee to smother a scream.
How could he? How could he? How could he?
I love him. I loved him. I don't know which. My stomach churns and my breath comes in shudders as the tears continue to flow. How could he hurt me like this?
How could I let him?
I clutch my legs and rock back and forth, back and forth. I look up at the ceiling and send a silent cry to Aslan. How could you abandon us? Why call us back, just to let Narnia fall, to let everyone die, to let my family fall apart? Why did you let this happen?
Why did I fall in love?
Time passes. I don't know how much. The sobs and the pain continue to come in waves, crashing over my body before ebbing away for a moment's relief. Eventually, they come more slowly, until finally I lay down and let sleep take over my body.
Plagiarism Test
One last run-through! This time, I decided to use Google to find some website to use. Since I wrote a book report on The Portrait of a Lady for my junior year, I googled "summary of the portrait of a lady" and chose three results: SparkNotes (which I use for homework help sometimes), Wikipedia (which everyone's heard of), and one other I was not familiar with - Shmoop. I tested each one, first of all by just copying and pasting the text, then by changing some things around before running through the check. (It turns out that, while the regular check does not look for plagiarism, the plagiarism check looks for everything else along with plagiarism.)
SparkNotes One: Yes! A citation issue and the link for the original text are shown.
SparkNotes Two: Fail. No plagiarism or citation issue shown.
Wikipedia One: Yes! A citation issue and the link for the original text are shown.
Wikipedia Two: Fail. No plagiarism or citation issue shown.
Shmoop One: Hm... a citation issue and a link are shown, but the link is not for Shmoop - it's for a different website. Clicking the link starts an Open Office document download for a The Portrait of a Lady summary document.
Shmoop Two: Fail. No plagiarism or citation issue shown.
Okay, I'm seeing a trend here. What about something that's not a top Google result or popular student website? I decided to test a portion from Fanfiction.net (the first piece I came across on browse, which happened to be an almost-passable Wholock crossoer), the most recent post on Project Inspired, and a blog post of my own. This time I didn't bother with the switching-around of words.
Fanfiction: Yes! A citation issue and the link for the original text are shown.
PI: Hm... a citation issue and the proper link are shown, but according to Grammarly, only 97% is plagiarized. I literally just copied and pasted the whole thing, so that should say 100%.
My Blog: Yes! Sort of. Haha I used a book review and the link that came up was for my review on Amazon... let's try something else, shall we?
My Blog Take Two: Fail. No plagiarism or citation issue shown. That makes me sad. Apparently personal blogs like mine don't go through the plagiarism check... just to be sure, let's give one more shot...
Bailey's Blog: Fail again. No plagiarism or citation issue shown.
Conclusion
For an automated program, Grammarly makes a great proofreader and copy editor. There are some 'issues' pointed out that aren't actually problems, but it seems like Grammarly errs on the side of caution - better to catch a few non-problems than to miss a few real issues.
As for plagiarism, plain copying and pasting will ring the bell - but changing a few words around seems to fool the machine. Not to mention, whatever system Grammarly uses for plagiarism check, my and Bailey's blogs - and therefore, most likely, a lot of other less-known blogs and websites - aren't in it.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Blog Tour: The Sword Study {Book Review}
Sword Study: II Timothy by Tammy McMahan; illustrated by Doug McGuire
A Family-Centered Bible Study for Each Age Level
GoodReads Pages:
Level One (ages four-seven)
Level Two (ages seven-ten)
Level Three (tweens and teens)
Level Four (high school through adult)
Level Five (level four + instructor's book)
National Bible Bee Store
(Only Level One is available on Amazon at present; none are currently listed on LibraryThing.)
Website Summary:
As homeschoolers, my family often does devotionals in 'assembly' before starting the school day, and there's been many times we've shared devotion books. The Sword Study fit into our schedule nicely, especially since everyone except Eddie and I had our own books. (Nicholas, the youngest in the family and almost twelve years old, used the Level Two book instead of Level Three.) So far, we've completed Week One. We did the study as our individual devotions throughout the week, and did a review together on Wednesday and then the weekend. There were some rough patches - it's hard to review together when each book has slightly different material, and getting used to the process takes patience and good listening skills in each member, which our family is sometimes lacking in if we're being completely honest. However, I think as we settle into a routine with these books we'll find our rhythm and the remaining nine weeks will run rather smoothly.
My personal thoughts on this study were mixed. (Note that I'm talking about the Level Four book here, the one I used.) I love that the books get you to dig deeper than most devotionals that just skim over the surface or talk about the same words/passages I've heard half a dozen sermons over. I also that it was great that several questions were ones of opinion or personal thoughts - every individual could have a different answer, but there would be no wrong answers. Those questions applied to how the passages read affected you, not what they're teaching or the history behind them. You do learn a bit about history and the context of the passages, though. That was another cool thing - there's a lot of cross-referencing that helps you grasp the concepts and the context so much better than a lot of studies I've used.
The only thing I didn't like about the Sword Study was how involved it is. It's not a bad thing; this book just takes a lot more time to complete each day's work than I had planned for. I'd advise someone starting out on the study to allote at least ten more minutes than you think you'll need, and be prepared to adjust your schedule as the study progresses and you figure out your rhythm.
Now I'll share a snippet from each of the other family members doing this study with me - after all, it's a Bible study for the whole family!
Mom: (Level Five) I think it's well-designed. It allows everyone in the family to contribute. However, I don't always know if I'm leading correctly because it's all based on my interpretation. There's very minimal direction given or answers given in the teacher's book. If I'm not confident in my understanding of the day's study, it's difficult to lead the rest of the family in their study.
Eddie: (Level Four) I like it. It's very thorough and it provides a good overall light of the entire material covered. I like how it refers to other passages, but not how it uses non-KJV passages. (Note from Emily: I was planning to mention that... it would be helpful to have the KJV instead of the couple different translations used.) I think it works as a better personal devotion than as a family study.
Jon: (Level Three) It's good. It's engaging. It's a little too easy for me, since I'm at the top of the age group for my level. I think fourteen-year-olds would do better at Level Four. It's pretty easy, but it makes you read through the book all the way for the first couple of days, which is good. It makes you dig deep every day. The ACTS prayer model is good. It helps you focus on the actual aspects of prayer. I think there should be a little bit more than memorization or reading - actual studying. (Note from Emily: That's found in Level Four.) It doesn't take too long, which is nice, and it can be done at any time of day. It gets you thinking about God and His Word.
Nick: (Level Two) There's a lot of writing involved. Sometimes you have to read the whole chapter or the whole book. As for learning anything, some days I feel like I am and sometimes I feel like I'm not. It works well as a family devotion.
My Conclusion: Honestly, I think we covered everything. Four stars :)
I was provided a free copy of each level in this study in exchange for this review through Glass Road Public Relations. All opinions expressed are entirely mine and my family's, and ours alone.
A Family-Centered Bible Study for Each Age Level
GoodReads Pages:Level One (ages four-seven)
Level Two (ages seven-ten)
Level Three (tweens and teens)
Level Four (high school through adult)
Level Five (level four + instructor's book)
National Bible Bee Store
(Only Level One is available on Amazon at present; none are currently listed on LibraryThing.)
Website Summary:
My Thoughts:Sword Studies are in-depth and creative Bible studies designed for family discipleship. They are customized to fit all of the age levels in your family, while learning the same book of the Bible. The daily studies are supplemented by inspiring stories, A.C.T.S. prayer time, Greek/Hebrew word studies, and much more! You can use this as a church study, homeschool curriculum, at family Bible times, or use for your personal study. The Sword Studies are an excellent tool to grow in knowledge and understanding of God's Word!
As homeschoolers, my family often does devotionals in 'assembly' before starting the school day, and there's been many times we've shared devotion books. The Sword Study fit into our schedule nicely, especially since everyone except Eddie and I had our own books. (Nicholas, the youngest in the family and almost twelve years old, used the Level Two book instead of Level Three.) So far, we've completed Week One. We did the study as our individual devotions throughout the week, and did a review together on Wednesday and then the weekend. There were some rough patches - it's hard to review together when each book has slightly different material, and getting used to the process takes patience and good listening skills in each member, which our family is sometimes lacking in if we're being completely honest. However, I think as we settle into a routine with these books we'll find our rhythm and the remaining nine weeks will run rather smoothly.
My personal thoughts on this study were mixed. (Note that I'm talking about the Level Four book here, the one I used.) I love that the books get you to dig deeper than most devotionals that just skim over the surface or talk about the same words/passages I've heard half a dozen sermons over. I also that it was great that several questions were ones of opinion or personal thoughts - every individual could have a different answer, but there would be no wrong answers. Those questions applied to how the passages read affected you, not what they're teaching or the history behind them. You do learn a bit about history and the context of the passages, though. That was another cool thing - there's a lot of cross-referencing that helps you grasp the concepts and the context so much better than a lot of studies I've used.
The only thing I didn't like about the Sword Study was how involved it is. It's not a bad thing; this book just takes a lot more time to complete each day's work than I had planned for. I'd advise someone starting out on the study to allote at least ten more minutes than you think you'll need, and be prepared to adjust your schedule as the study progresses and you figure out your rhythm.
Now I'll share a snippet from each of the other family members doing this study with me - after all, it's a Bible study for the whole family!
Mom: (Level Five) I think it's well-designed. It allows everyone in the family to contribute. However, I don't always know if I'm leading correctly because it's all based on my interpretation. There's very minimal direction given or answers given in the teacher's book. If I'm not confident in my understanding of the day's study, it's difficult to lead the rest of the family in their study.
Eddie: (Level Four) I like it. It's very thorough and it provides a good overall light of the entire material covered. I like how it refers to other passages, but not how it uses non-KJV passages. (Note from Emily: I was planning to mention that... it would be helpful to have the KJV instead of the couple different translations used.) I think it works as a better personal devotion than as a family study.
Jon: (Level Three) It's good. It's engaging. It's a little too easy for me, since I'm at the top of the age group for my level. I think fourteen-year-olds would do better at Level Four. It's pretty easy, but it makes you read through the book all the way for the first couple of days, which is good. It makes you dig deep every day. The ACTS prayer model is good. It helps you focus on the actual aspects of prayer. I think there should be a little bit more than memorization or reading - actual studying. (Note from Emily: That's found in Level Four.) It doesn't take too long, which is nice, and it can be done at any time of day. It gets you thinking about God and His Word.
Nick: (Level Two) There's a lot of writing involved. Sometimes you have to read the whole chapter or the whole book. As for learning anything, some days I feel like I am and sometimes I feel like I'm not. It works well as a family devotion.
My Conclusion: Honestly, I think we covered everything. Four stars :)
I was provided a free copy of each level in this study in exchange for this review through Glass Road Public Relations. All opinions expressed are entirely mine and my family's, and ours alone.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Book Review: Dead Man's Hand and Skull Creek Stakeout {ARC}
My Imaginary Boyfriend is on hiatus this week - but don't worry, the adventures of Rykel and me will be back next week!
Dead Man's Hand and Skull Creek Stakeout by Eddie Jones
{Books One and Two of the Caden Chronicles}
Amazon Page: Dead Man's Hand
Amazon Page: Skull Creek Stakeout
GoodReads Page: Dead Man's Hand
GoodReads Page: Skull Creek Stakeout
LibraryThing Page: Dead Man's Hand
LibraryThing Page: Skull Creek Stakeout
Author Website
Amazon Summary - Dead Man's Hand:
I read this book as one of the five INSPY nominations for the Literature for Young Adults category. (I was one of three judges. It was great!)
Going in, I expected a lot from this book. First of all, it has a great cover, awesome back cover copy, and a lot of acclamations. Second of all, it's a middle grade mystery - before I widened my reading taste as a result of book blogging, that was my absolute favorite kind of book to read. While the book was pretty good, I was sad to discover it fell to the bottom of my list - and the other two judges' - when it came time to order the five nominations from best to not-so-great.
The mystery was too confusing and the characters hard to keep straight. While the series may work with this in the future, this book also doesn't seem like it can really be considered a Christian book on its own. There's hardly any mention of the Bible or God until halfway through the book, and the few mentions are all from an atheistic and 'factual' point of view. I thought maybe that view would change over the course of the book; I was disappointed when it didn't.
The characters from the town didn't really seem the greatest or the most realistic. The whole thing about the online program for using television shows to analyze crimes was a bit out of place and I felt like I'd started reading in the middle of the series - like there should be a story or two before this one to explain the whole website-with-crime-shows thing. But nope, this is the first book. I will point out that the western sharp-shooter girl Nick seems to be sweet on was pretty cool; I definitely liked her.
The family relations didn't seem realistic. Wendy (Nick's sister)'s whining and the parents' nagging were too over-the-top. At first, I thought maybe this was just how fourteen-year-old boys think. I tried to get my brother to read the book and get his opinion, but he said it sounded too weird and refused to even try the first chapter. Just based on that, I'd say this book misses its target audience at the very least - we're talking my fourteen-year-old brother whose favorite books involve action, spies, mysteries, and intrigue. Three stars, but hopeful that the story will improve as the series progresses.
Amazon Summary - Skull Creek Stakeout:
{Review is of an ARC}
I was sooo psyched and geared up to see the series take off after an okay first book.
I was not granted these expectations.
The book starts out in the middle of the action, which writers are taught is best. However, it was a little too in the action; I was having trouble following along. Plus it felt like there was too much that happened to Nick skimmed over between the first and second book. Not to mention the family relations are as irritating as ever, and a fourteen-year-old boy flying by himself to stay with his mentally unstable aunt while investigating a murder alone for an online newspaper that honestly doesn't sound completely credible to me, a seventeen-year-old who almost lives online... not off on the right foot.
With the exception of some parts with his aunt, that's basically the way the whole book went.
Almost nothing in the plot felt realistic or believable. The mystery itself was intricately built to be a completely believable paranormal thing until the last minute - something that happened in the first book, as well. For the first book I was willing to suspend my disbelief and wait for the explanation at the end, but for the second book I just got frustrated and bored. I want to know what's really happening, not what vampire tradition or creepy nighttime action it seems to be!
*SPOILERS*
Oh, and then there's the whole part about his first night sleeping in a creepy mansion locked in. Or the great big wolf-dog I never really understood, other than the fact it was meant to make the story more suspenseful. Let's not forget the fact this guy was flirting with a lady from the morgue for the whole book, got up and walked away after being hit by a car - JUST WALKED AWAY, comparing it to a sports injury I think - or was buried alive and then dug himself out. DUG HIMSELF OUT FROM SIX FEET DOWN.
Plus the fact this guy is fourteen, people, not twenty-four! His age is referenced many times, but I don't buy the way he acts or thinks or the way others treat him most of the time. I have a fourteen-year-old brother interested in criminal justice who watches police shows and reads martial arts books in his spare time. I still don't buy this too-adult teenager hanging out with the grown-ups and being left alone to investigate a dangerous murder with his parents totally okay because he's staying with his crazy aunt the whole time. She can't even finish a whole sentence without forgetting what she's talking about. Let's be real here.
That spiritual thing? Other than a few mentions of prayer meeting by his crazy aunt, a reference to Sunday School by a criminal, and a few questions prodding at the idea of life after death (all of which Nick brushes away, never to actually return to) this book still doesn't qualify as Christian. Neither does Nick. I give this second book two stars.
My Conclusion:
I feel like this whole review is negative, but it really did seem like a chore to finish the second book. This does not bode well for a series. In book one, the whole murder investigation was long-drawn-out and who actually committed the crime is a 'huge surprise,' not at all on the radar for Nick or the readers, but somehow Nick figures it out at the last minute. Crazy, dangerous meeting alone with the criminal leads to the readers finally learning the who, what, when, where, and why - but of course we have no chance to figure it out ahead of time because the entire stinking book is red herrings. This was frustrating but forgiveable in book one. Not so when the same course is repeated for book two. The plot honestly felt a lot like a vampire remake of the first book. Replace the sharp-shooter from book one with this older teen who works at a morgue; replace ghost stories with vampire legends; replace a cobwebby western town with a cobwebby creepy mansion; leave the basic plot and the use of graveyards and strange times of morning/night.
I'm not sure how Eddie Jones does in the adult market, but I have to say, I'm disappointed in these middle grade books. Many times I found myself thinking that maybe, if Nick was in his twenties and out on his own as an actual reporter not traveling with his family, the dialogue and his actions would be so much more believable. I'm thinking Eddie Jones just isn't used to or isn't cut out for writing for the children's market. I give this series two and a half stars and sincerely hope that maybe he'll learn from the mistakes of these books and improve them with his future kids' novels.
I purchased Dead Man's Hand to read as an INSPY judge. Skull Creek Stakeout was given to me for free by DJC Communications in exchange for a review of both books. All opinions expressed are entirely my own.
Dead Man's Hand and Skull Creek Stakeout by Eddie Jones
{Books One and Two of the Caden Chronicles}
Amazon Page: Dead Man's Hand
Amazon Page: Skull Creek Stakeout
GoodReads Page: Dead Man's Hand
GoodReads Page: Skull Creek Stakeout
LibraryThing Page: Dead Man's Hand
LibraryThing Page: Skull Creek Stakeout
Author Website
Amazon Summary - Dead Man's Hand:
My Thoughts - Dead Man's Hand:Nick Caden's vacation at Deadwood Canyon Ghost Town takes a deadly turn toward trouble when the fourteen-year-old finds himself trapped in a livery stable with the infamous outlaw Jesse James. The shooter whirls, aims and... vanishes. Great theatrics, Nick thinks, except now he's alone in the hayloft with the bullet-riddled body of Billy the Kid. And by the time the sheriff arrives, the body disappears.
Soon Nick is caught in a deadly chase---from an abandoned gold mine, through forbidden buffalo hunting grounds, and across Rattlesnake Gulch. Around every turn he finds another suspect. Will Nick solve the murder? Will his parents have him committed? Or will the town's infatuation with Hollywood theatrics conceal the real truth about souls, spirits and the destiny that awaits those who die.In this new supernatural mystery YA series, award-winning author Eddie Jones takes readers to the Wild Wild West. Perfect for fans of mysteries and crime TV and reluctant readers.
I read this book as one of the five INSPY nominations for the Literature for Young Adults category. (I was one of three judges. It was great!)
Going in, I expected a lot from this book. First of all, it has a great cover, awesome back cover copy, and a lot of acclamations. Second of all, it's a middle grade mystery - before I widened my reading taste as a result of book blogging, that was my absolute favorite kind of book to read. While the book was pretty good, I was sad to discover it fell to the bottom of my list - and the other two judges' - when it came time to order the five nominations from best to not-so-great.
The mystery was too confusing and the characters hard to keep straight. While the series may work with this in the future, this book also doesn't seem like it can really be considered a Christian book on its own. There's hardly any mention of the Bible or God until halfway through the book, and the few mentions are all from an atheistic and 'factual' point of view. I thought maybe that view would change over the course of the book; I was disappointed when it didn't.
The characters from the town didn't really seem the greatest or the most realistic. The whole thing about the online program for using television shows to analyze crimes was a bit out of place and I felt like I'd started reading in the middle of the series - like there should be a story or two before this one to explain the whole website-with-crime-shows thing. But nope, this is the first book. I will point out that the western sharp-shooter girl Nick seems to be sweet on was pretty cool; I definitely liked her.
The family relations didn't seem realistic. Wendy (Nick's sister)'s whining and the parents' nagging were too over-the-top. At first, I thought maybe this was just how fourteen-year-old boys think. I tried to get my brother to read the book and get his opinion, but he said it sounded too weird and refused to even try the first chapter. Just based on that, I'd say this book misses its target audience at the very least - we're talking my fourteen-year-old brother whose favorite books involve action, spies, mysteries, and intrigue. Three stars, but hopeful that the story will improve as the series progresses.
Amazon Summary - Skull Creek Stakeout:
My Thoughts - Skull Creek Stakeout:The good news is, vampires aren't real. The bad news is...you can't believe the news.Nick Caden is a normal fourteen-year-old kid with a "supernatural" knack for finding trouble, ghosts, vampires, and all sorts of undead--or so it seems.After solving the ghost story murder at Deadwood Canyon, Nick lands a job as a roving reporter for The Cool Ghoul Gazette, a website on paranormal or supernatural disturbances. When the editor sends Nick to investigate a murder in Transylvania, North Carolina, the young super sleuth finds a corpse with fangs, bite marks and a stake driven through the heart. If Nick proves vampires are real, his job as an investigative journalist is set for life! But once he begins to peel back the clues surrounding the mystery of Skull Creek Nick finds his new job is not only scary and dangerous but about to suck the life out of him.The Skull Creek Stakeout - a story middle-readers and adults can sink their teeth into.
{Review is of an ARC}
I was sooo psyched and geared up to see the series take off after an okay first book.
I was not granted these expectations.
The book starts out in the middle of the action, which writers are taught is best. However, it was a little too in the action; I was having trouble following along. Plus it felt like there was too much that happened to Nick skimmed over between the first and second book. Not to mention the family relations are as irritating as ever, and a fourteen-year-old boy flying by himself to stay with his mentally unstable aunt while investigating a murder alone for an online newspaper that honestly doesn't sound completely credible to me, a seventeen-year-old who almost lives online... not off on the right foot.
With the exception of some parts with his aunt, that's basically the way the whole book went.
Almost nothing in the plot felt realistic or believable. The mystery itself was intricately built to be a completely believable paranormal thing until the last minute - something that happened in the first book, as well. For the first book I was willing to suspend my disbelief and wait for the explanation at the end, but for the second book I just got frustrated and bored. I want to know what's really happening, not what vampire tradition or creepy nighttime action it seems to be!
*SPOILERS*
Oh, and then there's the whole part about his first night sleeping in a creepy mansion locked in. Or the great big wolf-dog I never really understood, other than the fact it was meant to make the story more suspenseful. Let's not forget the fact this guy was flirting with a lady from the morgue for the whole book, got up and walked away after being hit by a car - JUST WALKED AWAY, comparing it to a sports injury I think - or was buried alive and then dug himself out. DUG HIMSELF OUT FROM SIX FEET DOWN.
Plus the fact this guy is fourteen, people, not twenty-four! His age is referenced many times, but I don't buy the way he acts or thinks or the way others treat him most of the time. I have a fourteen-year-old brother interested in criminal justice who watches police shows and reads martial arts books in his spare time. I still don't buy this too-adult teenager hanging out with the grown-ups and being left alone to investigate a dangerous murder with his parents totally okay because he's staying with his crazy aunt the whole time. She can't even finish a whole sentence without forgetting what she's talking about. Let's be real here.
That spiritual thing? Other than a few mentions of prayer meeting by his crazy aunt, a reference to Sunday School by a criminal, and a few questions prodding at the idea of life after death (all of which Nick brushes away, never to actually return to) this book still doesn't qualify as Christian. Neither does Nick. I give this second book two stars.
My Conclusion:
I feel like this whole review is negative, but it really did seem like a chore to finish the second book. This does not bode well for a series. In book one, the whole murder investigation was long-drawn-out and who actually committed the crime is a 'huge surprise,' not at all on the radar for Nick or the readers, but somehow Nick figures it out at the last minute. Crazy, dangerous meeting alone with the criminal leads to the readers finally learning the who, what, when, where, and why - but of course we have no chance to figure it out ahead of time because the entire stinking book is red herrings. This was frustrating but forgiveable in book one. Not so when the same course is repeated for book two. The plot honestly felt a lot like a vampire remake of the first book. Replace the sharp-shooter from book one with this older teen who works at a morgue; replace ghost stories with vampire legends; replace a cobwebby western town with a cobwebby creepy mansion; leave the basic plot and the use of graveyards and strange times of morning/night.
I'm not sure how Eddie Jones does in the adult market, but I have to say, I'm disappointed in these middle grade books. Many times I found myself thinking that maybe, if Nick was in his twenties and out on his own as an actual reporter not traveling with his family, the dialogue and his actions would be so much more believable. I'm thinking Eddie Jones just isn't used to or isn't cut out for writing for the children's market. I give this series two and a half stars and sincerely hope that maybe he'll learn from the mistakes of these books and improve them with his future kids' novels.
I purchased Dead Man's Hand to read as an INSPY judge. Skull Creek Stakeout was given to me for free by DJC Communications in exchange for a review of both books. All opinions expressed are entirely my own.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Pixie Posts: The Reveal
Before
(I took an insane number of selfies before the cut. I kid you not: I have more selfies than senior photos, I think. Let's just say I went a little shutter-happy?)
Yeah, the lighting's better in some than others... but I'm working with an absolutely awful cell phone camera. That's about as good as they get. Anyway...
AFTER!
So what do you think?
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Book Review: The Follower
The Follower by C.F. BarrowsAmazon Page
GoodReads Page
Author Facebook Page
Amazon Summary:
Three hundred years ago, the Rhenor nation split into two, the Reshan and the Khanor. One dwells in the Outerlands, the other in the mountains - and although the nations have made peace, their people have not. One fateful day, two small patrols meet in an outer cave in Khanor territory. The youths, spurred by mutual distrust, brawl, and the ensuing cave-in cuts off their main routes back to both the Reshan and the Khanor civilizations. Their only choice is to join forces and follow the one remaining tunnel - one that runs through an area known simply as the Forbidden Regions - to find their way back to their homes. Along the way, the beliefs of every traveler are put to the test, and the secrets of a few may threaten the safety of all. For as they go, Lusefar, lord of the Saethen, sends his agents against them, licking his lips as a ravenous dragon.My Thoughts:
This book was a complex story in a well-built world. I really loved Yannah, Sheth, and Kyra. But it felt like there were too many characters, and too many names of people and places, to keep straight. The constant changing between POVs and locations would have worked if there were fewer characters and/or locations to switch between, but the way it was written was confusing and hard to keep things straight for the first couple of chapters.
After the cave-in, the story was much more streamlined and easier to follow, and that's when I was really interested in the book. If the rest of the series is written like the beginning of the book, I probably won't finish it. But if it matches up with the latter portion of this book, I can't wait to read them. The story was gripping and the emotions ran high. I give this book three stars.
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