Clouded Dreams

The more I learn about literal nighttime dreams, the more I realize that my choice of dream for One Word 2013 was way more involved than I expected.

According to our memories, some people never dream during sleep at all.  Others only dream occasionally.  Still others, like me, dream several dreams most nights.

According to science, everyone dreams numerous dreams every single night.  Some people just remember them better than others, and even that is often linked to what sleep cycle a person wakes or is woken during.

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Have you ever had one of those dreams where you have an idea of what's going on, but your periphery is dark and everything you can see is foggy or dim - no matter how hard you rub your eyes or how many times you blink, you still feel like you're surrounded by a cloud of smoke.  Only once you've woken up do you realize it was a dream and it all makes sense.  Even then, you don't always really know what was going on in the dream.

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Those are perfect descriptions for how I've felt the past couple of months.  I know God has dreams for me - not just the big, vague future idea of missionary, but specifics.  He has a college picked out for me, and He knows exactly which classes and teachers and roommates and dorm rooms and prayer groups and weekend plans and part-time jobs and break time plans I'll have.  He not only knows what country He'll send me to, but what part of that country and what village or town or city there and what my home will be and the names, birthdays, favorite colors, first words, and eye colors of every child I will ever teach.

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He has all these marvelous, specific, wonderful, amazing, breathtaking dreams for me.  The only part I know right now is that I have to narrow down my college list, apply to so many schools, and pray I end up at the right one.

Someday, eventually, I'll be that amazing teacher living a mindblowingly blessed life in the place God's chosen.  Right now, making it through high school is already more than I have the focus and energy for.

God has hundreds of dreams for every one of us on earth - but those who are bold and trusting enough to accept theirs only get to live them one at a time.

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One day.  One step.  One dream.

Only once we've passed through to the other side and woken up does any of it make sense - and even then, sometimes all we've got is another hazy cloud to walk through and our faith to pull us through it.

I'm participating in Melanie's Monthly One Word Linkup Party.  Join us!

In Memory

Butterscotch

2008 - 2013

If it should be that I grow frail and weak

And pain should keep me from my sleep,

Then will you do what must be done,

For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.

You will be sad, I understand,

But don't let grief then stay your hand.

For on this day, more than the rest,

Your love and friendship must stand the test.

We have had so many happy years,

You wouldn't want me to suffer so.

When the time comes,

Please, let me go.

Take me where, to my needs they'll tend,

Only, stay with me till the end

And hold me firm and speak to me

Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree

It is a kindness you do to me.

Although my tail its last has waved,

From pain and suffering I have been saved.

Don't grieve that it must be you

Who has to decide this thing to do;

We've been so close -- we two -- these years,

Don't let your heart hold any tears.

Author Unknown

Source: http://www.funerals-poems.com/pet-loss-poems.html

Blog Tour: Goddess Tithe {Excerpts}

About the author:


Anne Elisabeth Stengl makes her home in Raleigh, North Carolina, where she lives with her husband, Rohan, a kindle of kitties, and one long-suffering dog. When she’s not writing, she enjoys Shakespeare, opera, and tea, and practices piano, painting, and pastry baking. She studied illustration at Grace College and English literature at Campbell University. She is the author of the Tales of Goldstone Wood, including Heartless, Veiled Rose, Moonblood, Starflower, and Dragonwitch. Heartless and Veiled Rose have each been honored with a Christy Award, and Starflower was voted winner of the 2013 Clive Staples Award.

About this scene:


Here is an excerpt from the middle of the story. In this scene, Munny has been ordered to Captain Sunan’s cabin to clear away his breakfast . . . an unexpected task, for a lowly cabin boy would not ordinarily dare enter his captain’s private quarters! Munny hopes to slip in and out quietly without attracting the captain’s notice. But his hopes are dashed when Sunan addresses him, asking how their strange, foreign stowaway is faring.


“And what do you make of him yourself?”

Munny dared glance his captain’s way and was relieved when his eyes met only a stern and rigid back. “I’m not sure, Captain,” he said. “I think he’s afraid. But not of . . .”

“Not of the goddess?” the Captain finished for him. And with these words he turned upon Munny, his eyes so full of secrets it was nearly overwhelming. Munny froze, his fingers just touching but not daring to take up a small teapot of fragile work.

The Captain looked at him, studying his small frame up and down. “No,” he said, “I believe you are right. Leonard the Clown does not fear Risafeth. I believe he is unaware of his near peril at her will, suffering as he does under a peril nearer still.”

 Munny made neither answer nor any move.

“We will bring him safely to Lunthea Maly, won’t we, Munny?” the Captain said. But he did not speak as though he expected an answer, so again Munny offered none. “We will bring him safely to Lunthea Maly and there let him choose his own dark future.”

“I hope—” Munny began.

But he was interrupted by a sudden commotion on deck. First a rising murmur of voices, then many shouts, inarticulate in cacophony. But a pounding at the cabin door accompanied Sur Agung’s voice bellowing, “Captain, you’d best come see this!”

The Captain’s eyes widened a moment and still did not break gaze with Munny’s. “We’ll keep him safe,” he repeated. Then he turned and was gone, leaving the door open.

Munny put down the pot he held and scurried after. The deck was alive with hands, even those who were off watch, crawling up from the hatches and crowding the rails on the port side. They parted way for the Captain to pass through, but when Munny tried to follow, they closed in again, blocking him as solidly as a brick wall.

“Look! Look!” Munny heard voices crying.

“It’s a sign!”

“She’s warning us!”

“It’s a sign, I tell you!”

Fearing he knew not what, Munny ran for the center mast and climbed partway up, using the handholds and footholds with unconscious confidence. Soon he was high enough to see over the heads of the gathered crew, out into the blue waters of the ocean. And he saw them.

They were water birds. Big white albatrosses, smaller seagulls, heavy cormorants, even deep-throated pelicans and sleek, black-faced terns. These and many more, hundreds of them, none of which should be seen this far out to sea.

They were all dead. Floating in a great mass.

Munny clung to the mast, pressing his cheek against its wood. The shouts of the frightened sailors below faded away, drowned out by the desolation of that sight. Death, reeking death, a sad flotilla upon the waves.

“I’ve never seen anything like that.”

Munny looked down to where Leonard clung to the mast just beneath him, staring wide-eyed out at the waves. “How could this have happened? Were they sick? Caught in a sudden gale? Are they tangled in fishing nets?”

There was no fear in his voice. Not like in the voices of the sailors. He did not understand. He did not realize. It wasn’t his fault, Munny told himself.

But it was.

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Blog Tour: Goddess Tithe {Cover Reveal + Giveaway!}

Goddess Tithe by Anne Elizabeth Stengl
A Novella of Goldstone Wood

The Vengeful Goddess Demands Her Tithe

When a stowaway is discovered aboard the merchant ship Kulap Kanya, Munny, a cabin boy on his first voyage, knows what must be done. All stowaways are sacrificed to Risafeth, the evil goddess of the sea. Such is her right, and the Kulap Kanya's only hope to return safely home.

Yet, to the horror of his crew, Captain Sunan vows to protect the stowaway, a foreigner in clown's garb. A curse falls upon the ship and all who sail with her, for Risafeth will stop at nothing to claim her tithe.


Will Munny find the courage to trust his captain and to protect the strange clown who has become his friend?

From the author:

I had the fun of designing this cover—finding reference photos, inventing the composition, applying the text, etc.—but the actual artistic work was done by talented cover artist Phatpuppy (www.phatpuppyart.com), whose work I have admired for many years. It was such a thrill for me to contact and commission this artist to create a look for Goddess Tithe that is reminiscent of the original novels but has a style and drama all its own.

The boy on the front was quite a find. I hunted high and low for an image of a boy the right age, the right look, with the right expression on his face. Phatpuppy and I worked with a different model through most of the cover development stage. But then I happened upon this image, and both she and I were delighted with his blend of youth, stubbornness, and strength of character! It wasn’t difficult to switch the original boy for this young man. He simply is Munny, and this cover is a perfect window into the world of my story.


You can’t see it here, but the wrap-around back cover for the print copy contains some of the prettiest work . . . including quite a scary sea monster! Possibly my favorite detail is the inclusion of the ghostly white flowers framing the outer edge. These are an important symbol in the story itself, and when Phatpuppy sent me the first mock-up cover with these included, I nearly jumped out of my skin with excitement!

There are eight full-page illustrations in Goddess Tithe featuring various characters and events from the story. This is the first one in the book. I decided to share it with all of you since it depicts my young hero, Munny the cabin boy, under the watchful eye of his mentor, the old sailor Tu Pich. Munny is on his first voyage, and he is determined to learn all there is to know about a life at sea as quickly as possible. Thus we see him utterly intent upon the knot he is learning to tie. Tu Pich is old enough to know that no sailor will ever learn all there is to know about the sea. Thus he looks on, grave, caring, and perhaps a little sad. He might be looking upon his own younger self of many years ago, fumbling through the hundreds of difficult knots his fingers must learn to tie with unconscious ease.

I enjoyed creating all the illustrations for Goddess Tithe, but this one was my favorite. I love the contrasts of light and dark, the contrasts of young and old . . . youthful intensity versus the perspective of age.

Giveaway! US and Canada only, please :)

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The Pixie Posts: My Pros and Cons

 {Corresponding lists written before I got the cut; notes in italics are edits from after I actually lived with the haircut for a couple of days.}

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Pros

1. Less style time and effort
2. Less heat on the neck
3. Doesn’t weigh me down
4. Dries a lot (LOT) faster, therefore not as cold for the first half of the winter day {okay so I ended up having to blowdry every day to keep my naturally-super-straight from going all flat and zero-volume on me...}
5. Can use more barrettes and little clips
6. Can use scarves! {and the momma got me an adorable one for the Big Day ^.^ }
7. Can also use more hats
8. Very fun and daring step
9. Hair won’t be ruined by the weather
10. Will make my Look more stylish and bold
11. Shows off the face more
12. Goes well with natural/unwaxed brows {seriously I looove the way my eyebrows look just under the bang tips}
13. Grows insanely fast (in case I don’t like it)
14. Um. I already do that anyway. Duh. {and less conditioning required! I used to use it to prevent mega tangles; now I just use it occasionally to combat heat damage}
15. If my haircut dictates a guy’s interest, I’m not interested. {but everyone loves it anyway :) }
16. But they’ve okay-ed it, and it’ll grow back
17. Good for bold hair colors, like red {my hair looks less red and more just... fun... I don't really know what this color would be... auburn? no it's lighter than that... caramel? yeah I'll go with strawberry... caramel... or something}
18. Grabs attention and makes a statement
19. Short hair shows off the healthier roots rather than damaged ends
20. ...Well, it can always grow back. {to be re-cut and donated, naturally}
21. From our limited knowledge of face shapes, a pixie is right for this face shape {I was right! win!}
22. ...They’ll grow out too...
23. It gives me a good reason to work on my budding knowledge and experience with makeup. Plus, with less hair-styling time, I’ll have the time to do said makeup on weekdays.
24. Who wants to hide? {yes I am an adorable kickbutt ex-nun-turned-fairy!}
25. It’s a good thing my style has recently taken a specific form, then.
26. They also judge teenagers, Christians, homeschoolers, military folks, opinionated people, authors, missionaries, and a whole lotta other people. Get over it.
27. There’s also a lot of beauty and allure in a strong personality, confidence, one’s eyes and facial expression, one’s neck and shoulders... should I continue? {so. much. truth.}
28. Earrings and necklaces are really shown off and visible
29. People don’t play with or do my hair very much anyway, and half of those that do are kids who get toy wrenches or hairbrushes stuck in my hair

Cons

1. Fewer style choices {although I've discovered great new products, whereas previously products in general were kind of not-my-thing}
2. Could be cold in winter {but not with scarves! which I apparently never knew I love, because I never actually used them before}
3. Could feel kind of naked/exposed {try elegant and classy!}
4. ...Okay, got me there. {Mwahaha HEAT DAMAGE blargh}
5. Can’t do curling, braiding, hair ties, etc. {so far, don't miss it. I get to ruffle and fluff and run my hands through my hair!}
6. Don’t own or know how to use scarves... {sooo much easier than I expected and ohmyword all the adorable options!}
7. ...Oh.
8. Possibly very dangerous and risky step
9. ...I got nothing.
10. Will make my Look less girly/soft/sweet {...um yeah nope just gotta know how to work it right}
11. Makes blemishes/imperfections more noticeable {what blemishes? all I see are my awesome FRECKLES :D }
12. ...Got nothing for that one either.
13. Grows insanely fast (if I do want to stick with it)
14. Have to wash it every day or every other day {TRUTH}
15. Guys generally prefer long hair {but I don't!}
16. Parents definitely won’t like it {also truth}
17. I think they mean more like fake, Crayola-style bold colors
18. I don’t want to make the wrong statement... {it's actually very easy to still look soft and feminine - a lot easier than I expected}
19. ...This is not going well for me. {haha nope!}
20. Bad hair days or no wash days can’t be hidden by buns/ponytails or even clippies
21. But we’re only like 50% sure here, based off a few things online, a couple friends, and one hairdresser.
22. If there are any cowlicks hiding, this is when they’ll decide to show up {looks like I'm still the lucky child in the family. no cowlicks present}
23. Without makeup, a pixie definitely looks masculine. {lie! lie lie lie! just looks older/more mature, but not in a bad way either}
24. There’s nothing to hide behind - whether we’re talking face, body, shape, weight, personality, whatever - with a pixie.
25. It doesn’t look right with a confused or undefined style
26. People judge pixies.
27. There’s a lot of beauty and allure in long hair
28. My bigger jewelry might look too big or clunky {haven't tried this yet... will probably find out about that soon}
29. People can’t play with or do my hair {first: they still can, like, touch it and stuff. not like I'm bald or anything. second: I really don't mind not having people fingering my hair. it's kind of nice sometimes to have that not be an option}

Diamond Candles: Review and Giveaway!

Have you heard of the latest trend in candles?  I first discovered it through one of those "suggested pages" ads on Facebook.  Basically, the idea is that when the candles are made, a piece of jewelry is hidden inside the wax.  Then, when the customer burns the candle, eventually they discover their surprise gift!

Diamond Candles is one company that does this with rings.  Their candles are all-natural and handmade of soy.  Every candle is the same size and price, and each contains a ring that could be worth anything from $10 to $5,000!  For more about the story behind Diamond Candles, check out http://www.diamondcandles.com/about.

Scent options vary widely, from fruity or floral to food or tropical.  For my personal candle, I chose a tropical scent - Island Getaway (currently sold out).  The colors, general description, and individual scents used as ingredients were all appealing to me.

When the candle arrived, it was nicely packaged in a cute little labelled box.  The minute I opened the box, I could already smell the candle.  Mmm!  The candle burned smoothly and steadily, without problems.  The flame was a little uneven or 'jumpy' at times, but trimming the wick solved that problem.  The colors were absolutely lovely and actually matched my bathroom decor perfectly!  The scent was strong straight out of the package, but I was a little disappointed to find it wasn't as strong while the candle was actually burning.  Still, I don't think I've ever been completely happy with a candle - I like my scents seriously strong, to the point most people would consider overpowering.  And, when I burned the candle in the morning before work and kept the door shut while I was gone , my room still smelled nice upon returning. :)  (The flame was blown out, of course.  Never leave a lit candle unattended!)

The wax melted more quickly than candles I've used before and solidified in a strange, flaky way.  Also, portions of the wax started turning green.  I think this might be because of the all-natural soy ingredients?  I've never used an all-natural, handmade, or soy candle before.

Now, the exciting part: the ring!  The minute little peaks of foil starting to show in the wax, I blew the candle out and went digging with my tweezers.  (Not recommended by Diamond Candles. I was impatient, yes.)  I wiped the wax off the foil with a few tissues and used the tweezers to open it up.  Then I wiped off the tweezers and used them to remove the ring from the ziplock baggie.

My ring was a silver one, with a green gem cut in a circle.  Based on my limited knowledge of jewelry and Diamond Candles's advice, my ring is probably more than $10 but less than $100.  It's also a size too big for my ring finger, but it fits nicely on my middle and pointer fingers.  I love that I got the perfect color for me - a red or pink ring wouldn't have gotten much use sitting in my jewelry box, but blue or green is right up my alley! :)  Plus I don't wear much gold, so the silver is great for me, too.

In all, I think Diamond Candles are an adorable, original idea and make a great gift - for others or for yourself!

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Book Review: Dark Halo

Dark Halo by Shannon Dittemore
One halo brought sight to Brielle.  Another offers sweet relief from what she sees.

Amazon Page
GoodReads Page
LibraryThing Page
Author Website

My Review of Angel Eyes
My Review of Broken Wings

Amazon Summary:

Brielle can’t help but see the Celestial. Even without the halo, the invisible realm is everywhere she looks. It’s impossibly beautiful—and terrifying, especially now. Because a battle rages above Stratus, Oregon.

The Terrestrial Veil is ripping, and demons walk the streets past unseeing mortals. Dark, sticky fear drips from every face, and nightmares haunt Brielle’s sleep.

Worst of all, Jake is gone. The only boy she’s ever loved has been taken by the demon, Damien. When she receives instructions from the Throne Room leading her to Jake, she unknowingly walks into a diabolical and heartbreaking trap.

 Now she’s stranded in a sulfurous desert with the Prince of Darkness himself, and he’s offering her another halo—a mirrored ring that will destroy her Celestial vision. All she has to do is wear it and she’ll see no more of the invisible world. No more fear. No more nightmares. No more demons. It’s a gift. And best of all: it comes with the promise of a future with Jake, something the Throne Room seems to be taking from her.

Will Brielle trade the beauty of the Celestial and the truth of the world around her just to feel ordinary again?

My Thoughts:

Lovely readers, I think I'm in love with a book.

No, not a character from a book - Jake's pretty amazing and my heart hurts for Marco, but they're not for me.  Not an author or writing style - although Shannon Dittemore is crazy daisy awesome.

I am in love with the book itself.

The story.  The words.  One chapter after another, I just couldn't get enough of the series - and the third book blows the others out of the park!

Brielle's and Jake's gifts, the halo(es), the angels - both fallen and proper, Marco and Olivia, the heartbreaking story that ties everyone together, and the settings were so perfectly and beautifully explained and described.  Where the first book was a wonderful beginning, this book was a satisfying ending.  Where the second book was confusing and astounding, this book was heartfelt and clear as crystal.  Where the second book seemed a bit unrealistic at parts, this third book was heartbreakingly true to life.

The first book's plot draws you in.  The second tangles things up so much, you just need to read the third book, to see what happens and what it all means.  This third book... just, wow.  I don't think anybody could have seen this coming.  Every minute was tightly woven, suspense and danger and romance and loss all carved together to complete the glorious picture that is the Angel Eyes trilogy.  (Not to mention there's always Kaylee to lighten things up with Oreos, crazy slippers, and fearless demon-punching.  Every other sentence out of her mouth had me in fits of giggles, even with everyone's life precariously balanced on the tightrope that was this plot.)

Of course, a review of Dark Halo wouldn't be complete without a word on the Prince.  Yes, the Devil himself makes an appearance in this book - actually, more than one.  I might say Shannon Dittemore knows her characters, her readers, and her subject matter better than any other author I've read.  In her depiction of Satan, both in his Terrestrial and his Celestial forms, she strikes the perfect balance between his revolting, slippery, dark, evil true nature... and the glorious, alluring, seductive, charming angel of light that is his greatest tool since the days of Eve and the Garden.

In my review of the first Angel Eyes book, I compared Shannon Dittemore's writing to that of my favorite author, Cidney Swanson.  Now that I've finished the series, I'd more than reiterate that statement.  I do believe I've found the Christian paranormal parallel to Cidney Swanson's young adult sci-fi.  I absolutely cannot wait for Shannon to start her next project, whatever it may be!  Five stars!

I received this book for free from BookSneeze in exchange for this review.  All opinions expressed are entirely my own.